15 July 04: past journal log

Chocolate called me and wanted to know what I was doing. I told her I was about to go out and do a video shoot. She paused and didn’t say nothing then said “Oh, okay, I’ll talk to you later” and then she hung up. I go over to grab my car keys to hit the road and then my phone rings again. I see it’s Chocolate on the caller I.D. I answer the phone and Chocolate says” I just want you to hear me out. You are full of shyt, you know I need a shoot and the money would have went to me getting an apartment because I have to get out my moms house by Saturday. “Then she says “I appreciate all you have done for me, but I’m through with you and this is goodbye, I wont be callin you no more”. I said” Is that all?” She said “Yeah.” Then she hung up.

I don’t know how many times I tell these broads that I don’t give a fuck about what THEY WANT. My business is not predicated upon what they want. They often call sayin “I need a shoot.” They got shyt twisted. I’m the one who is supposed to decide who gets on Video. I’m the one who has the bizness. I’m the one who does the callin to see who I want to fuck wit. They think that if they call and need some money, I’m gonna automatically give em a model gig. And then when you don’t give em the Gig they say you are dirty and treating them unfair. What part of the game is this? I don’t know how many times I have pulled Chocolates ass out the fire. I can’t count how many times I gave her a pity shoot just because she was needed the money. Half the time I never even wanted to shoot her. But she was cool people so I decided to try and look out.

But you see, this is the thanks you get for trying to help ghetto folks. You can help a bytch 99 times but if you tell her “No.” one time they wanna scream bloody murder. The “nice guy” routine can pay off in spades, but it has it’s pit falls. This situation is a major one. These females get so use to you being there to support and help them when no one else will. Then the minute you can’t deliver they feel betrayed by you. But you have to draw the line somewhere. You have to at some point and time cut they ass off, or they will bleed you dry with their misfortunes. Their misfortunes, mishaps and fuck ups will become yours as well. And a Mack ain’t got time to carry nobodies burdens but his own. Shyt! A Mack ain’t suppose to even have Burdens of his own anyway, why the fuck I want to make your drama my drama?

Bottom Line is, fine then girl, leave me be. See if ya Moms, Uncle, or Boyfriend can show you as much support as I have. I was doing all they jobs by trying to look out and support ya ass, Now this one time I can’t fuck wit ya and I’m a bad guy? One more needy ass wench bites the dust.

It’s 11:30 p.m and I just came back from gettin my dick slobbed by Champagne. The shyt was phenomenal!!!! Ohhh, I love a spitty blow job! I nutted all ovah them pretty lips. Stick around and stay a member and see the spit fly. Life is good.

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