Past Journal Log: 21 July 04

21 July 04

Chocolate been call’n and bugg’n the fuck out of me for the past 2 days. I probably made a big mistake a couple of days ago when I kissed her on the cheek and forehead and told her to stop feelin sorry for herself and to stop cryin about life. I told her she needs to start being more responsible and stop relying on me to save her ass when ever she fucks up. I told her I’m done with her bullshyt.

This conversation came about because she feels that I play favorites with my models. She thinks I give Mz. Vee more love than her on the money tip and gets more job offers. Now ya’ll got to understand that her and Mz. Vee use to be good friends and use to even eat each others pussy. I stepped on the  scene and found Mz. Vee and hooked her up with some cash. Then Chocolate gets at me through Mz. Vee. There have been instances where I have had these two havin shoutn and shovin matches about me in the middle of the projects. Chocolate has always been jealous of Vee. But I ain’t tryin to marry or fall in love with either of em. And Vee ain’t tryin to fall in love with me either as far as I know. Vee is no doubt one of my favorites and it ain’t Chocolates bizz if I do like to give her most of the work. It’s my money and my web site. I put on the bytches that I like dammit, what the fuck? Well I’m driving the car and Chocolate starts tellin me how she wants me to fuck her in the ass and stuff my dick in her mouth. I told her maybe some other time.

Chocolate then breaks down and says that she feels bad about herself and that she thinks that me and john only look at her as a cheap-ex drug addict that will suck dick for pennies. I just shake my head and say to her” You just sat here in my ride and told me that you want me to fuck you in the ass and stuff my dick in your mouth and dump a load of nut in your throat. Now the typical Nicca would have parked somewhere and did all that shyt to you. And this is not the first time you have requested that I do that to you, but I’m all about bizness. I don’t feel the need to do those things to you because I do feel we are better than that. So I don’t  see why you feel that I look at you like that? I don’t call you and come over yur house and make you do shyt to me.” She knows I’m all about bizz, and she knows I’m fair. This is just a situation where she is broke ass fuck and needs to think up reasons why she should be pissed at me because SHE is penniless. She she breaks down and starts crying and I’m keepin this shyt real wit ya’ll playaz. I really like 80% of the females I employ and I don’t want to see most of em fucked up in anyway. So It kind of fucked me up to see her like that. I could see that she has been in pain the majority of her life, but it ain’t my job to fix it. She has to do that herself. But usually when I drop her off she usually leans over and kisses me on the cheek. This day she was about to run out the car without kissn a Nicca good bye. So I grabbed her and kissed her gently on her cheek, forehead and eyelid. The tears were still stream’n down her face and I could taste the salt.

Gawd damn, what the fuck was I thinking?

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