There is no doubt in my Mind that the Ultimate Mack Profession is the religion racket. Preachers, Rabbis, Cardinals, Popes, Imams or whatever you wanna call the so-called men of Gawd are the most Mack’n and Pimpn muthafukkaz on Earth. The Politician runs a close second in the Mack Power game, but they can’t hold a candle to a muthafukka standing behind the Pulpit. I always wondered why I never really felt at home sitt’n in the Pews of any so-called house of worship. I always use to sit in Church and in the Mosque and say to myself” I ain’t buyin none of this shyt this fast talkin muthafukka is sellin me”. As you know the fast talkin muthafukka was the so-called man of Gawd in front of me, tellin me to give up my loot or I was gonna burn in hell. I use to watch as the man of Gawd would speak and have muthafukkaz in a daze. Muthafukkaz was in a trance playa! I use to say damn this Nicca got these people brainwashed. The combination of Music and rhetoric under the label of God, combined with intense fear of damnnation had muthafukkaz on Lock. The Flock dare not question what was being spoon fed to them by their clergy.
I was one of them Hard headed Hoez in the house of worship. I always questioned the shyt the Man of Gawd was hitt’n me with. This made me unpopular with the other hoez in his flock. It only takes one unruly Hoe to fuck up a pimps game. Once the other hoez see The Man of Gawd’s power being challenged, his power diminishes and he becomes mortal. The Man of Gawd Pimp doesn’t tolerate questions, his power is absolute and he must make an example out of those who would seek to fuck up his hustle. Most square Niccaz can’t see the correlation between the Pimp and the Preacher, I can’t understand how a muthafukka couldn’t see the similarities. Remember the whole concept of Pimp’n and Mack’n is about Control and Power. And who has the most juice in the neighborhood or respect? Well around my way it’s the Preacherman, they are frequently at the head of many social movements and when injustice rears it’s ugly head they can rally the community to meet that injustice head on. Don’t get me wrong dawg, the comparison between Pimp and Preacher ain’t necessarily a bad one. I fully see the positive these cats do, but I also see the dirt. Game recognize game here son. Look at Reverand Al Sharpton, does this brother look more like a Pimp or a Preacher? Listen to Reverand Jesse Jackson’s speech and lingo? How many Pimps you know slang lyrics like this brotha? Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are both students of the Pimp Game fo sho. A Good Pimp or Mack is a master of the Jedi Mind Trick. They can make you see something that ain’t there or not see what is there. They are true magicians and masters of misdirection. Let me ask you this playa. Is it in Jesse Jackson or Al Sharptons best interest that there is no Racism or is no injustice towards blacks? If Racism was eliminated today would they be able to feed themselves and pay their car note? Last time I checked they get paid only as long as chaos, injustice and racism are still social ills. So why would they want to truly see an end to something that keeps their pockets full? While they appear to work towards the elimination of Injustice and racism they secretly fan the flames of social upheaval to stay in business. Ya’ll muthafukkaz ain’t hearing me. This Pimp shyt is real. You can’t bullshyt a Bullshyter, I see through that bullshyt. But I ain’t judging my Niccaz hustle I would do the shyt too if I was in thier position. I have learned that people want to be lied to, the worst thing a man can do these days is tell the truth and Keep it Real. So I say give the people what they want, keep they asses in wonderland or trapped in a Matrix of there own creation.
There are definately two types of people on earth, you are either a being who mostly PIMPs or mostly HOEs. Everybody can’t Pimp and everbody can’t sit back a play a Hoe. Some people are comfortable playin the Hoe role, I can’t sit back and let a Nicca look me in the face and try and Pimp or Play me. And that’s why I could never get into organized religion. My soul wasn’t fit to stand out on the corner and be put on the Hoe stroll. I was definately Mack material, I was always thinking 2 steps ahead of the Nicca in the Pupit. And I didn’t fuck with his hustle as long as he knew his boundaries and didn’t knock my hustle and try and treat me like the rest of them otha Niccaz in the congregation. The minute he tried to flex I would make that Nicca regret opening Pandora’s box, pretty soon they all got the message that I was unpimpable and it was best to leave me the fuck alone.
But the day came where I could no longer sit amongst the sheep knowing that I was a wolf. And I left the Church and the Mosque fully aware of my Mack status. This ain’t a diss to those who sit in the pews and find enjoyment or even God there. I’m just sayin that shyt didn’t work for me. Whatever works for you, works for you. So do what you gotta do to make it to the next day. But give the next man the same space and respect you want him to give you. We all Play a Pimp and a Hoe at certain times in our life, the question is do you Mostly PIMP or Mostly Hoe? What do you want out of life? Do you want control or do you just want others to have it? If your satisfied with other people in the drivers seat while your on the passenger side then by all means enjoy the ride. But be aware that you may not like your destination.
This section just breaks down the similar traits the Pimps and Preachers share to fully show and prove that the two occupations are one in the same.
1.Preachers and Pimps Dress Code: Ya’ll know this shyt is real, Preachers can be seen on B.E.T flossin all sorts of nice ass suites, diamond rings and necklaces of Gold . I don’t know how many times I have met a preacher and had mistaken him for a Pimp. These cats tend to overdue the flash and draw all sorts of attention to themselves. But they have learned through many mack experiances that chicks dig this sort of dress and it adds to there congregation and thusly adds more money in their pockets on Sunday.
2.The Preachers Hoez: The pimp has a stable of Hoez that go to work faithfully and pay him every night. Well so does the preacher. His congregation often mostly consist of the female persuasion. And they often go to church to listen to what the preacher has to say in order to be emotionally moved and to feel a sense of belonging. This doesn’t come for free though, there is a fee. The preacher tells his hoes to go to work and at the end of the work week you need to bring him 10% of what you made in order to be accepted into God’s house. Only through doing this will you be accepted and loved. The preacher tells you that he knows better than you when it comes to matters of the soul and that you need to trust him with your money, he tells you that he is Gods representative and God has delegated his authority to him to be his treasurer and you need to just accept this as truth. So Basically the Pimp and Preacher mostly prey on woman and milk them of thier money. Yeah I know men get pimped too,just sayin the congregation is often 75% female. Thus show-n-proving the link and similar traits, situations and circumstances of both preachers and Pimps.
3.Gift of Gab: You can’t be a Preacher or a Pimp if you don’t have a good rap. The power is indeed in the spoken word. I told ya’ll earlier that the Preacher and Pimp both have similar diction and speech patterns (especially of the black persuasion). They both have the ability to sell you a good story. They both have the power and ability to Induce guilt and fear with just the words they speak. This is one of the reasons woman are so easily pimped by the clergy and by Macks, woman are very vocal or verbal and they live in a reality where words are paramount above all things. A woman loves to talk and she loves to listen. You ever wonder why woman love them damn Romance Novels where they READ about the sex and the relationship instead of looking at pictures of the sex or relationship? Because words are rich and full of life to woman. While men are mostly visual creatures woman are mostly verbal and a woman can be easily controlled and manipulated through the spoken word.
4.The Pimp Ride: Ya’ll know damn well that most pimps and preachers ride in the same sort of cars. They are usually luxury model cars. Caddy’s, Benz, Mercedes, Eldorado’s, Lincolns and what not. This doesn’t require further explaination.
5.The Names: I began to notice that most preachers have names that are Pimpish in nature. For instance the Names, T.D Jakes, Creflo Dollar, Daddy Divine, Al Sharpton, and many others have a pimpish ring to thier names that makes me think of Blackploitation movies, furry pimp hats and Rols Royces.You think I may be be stretching this one a bit,huh? Fuck it maybe im crazy,but then again maybe you crazy and I’m the only sane Nicca on the planet.
Well dawg that concludes another installment in the mad world of MackCity. If I have offended you with this article then you need to work on your mack skillz. You should never let another man have the power to offend you, sway you or dictate your emotinal state of mind. Being offended is Hoe property, sell that shyt for some Mack real estate and get paid.
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